I am starting to believe....

that feelings can be nurtured. and on the other hand, they can be killed just when they are forming... in other words, they can be controlled by your brains... as long as you let them be in your control.

the other day i was with the guy i used to like. initially, seeing his face was just like any other old friend. no special emotions at all.

the night went along.

then, while i was watching his back, the all too familiar warm and fuzzy feeling came over me.

it was really nice to be standing close by him. it was great to hear his voice in that soft, almost whispering tone in the silent of the night. the nice scent of his shampoo smelt almost intoxicating.

then i told myself no, i can't let myself fall for him again. especially since he's attached now.

that night i almost couldn't sleep. but strangely enough, when i woke up in the morning, that fuzzy feeling was gone.

proves my point? i don't know.... but i am really starting to believe it.

I am in love with this song....

Title: Isabel
Artist: Il Divo

Volar Caer
Al fondo del dolor
Sonar Perder
Imperios de ilusion
Hoy no tengo nada
Si no estas
Mi corazon se apaga

Isabel Si te vas
Tu Dios se enfadara
No dejes que este amor
Muera asi

Llorare Iloraras
Sufriendo en soledad
tu Vuelve a mi y yo te hare
Feliz Isabel

Buscar Sentir
La gran pasion de amar
Tratar de huir
a ese tiempo que vendra
Escapando del pasado
Tu y yo
Siempre enamorados

(chorus)

Hoy no tengo nada
Si no estas
Mi corazon se apage

Isabel~
yo te amare

Isabel
A donde iras sin mi
yo no sabre vivr
sin ti

(chorus)

Translated lyrics:

Flying, falling
down on pain
Playing, losing
empires of illusion
Today I have nothing
if I don't have you
My heart extinguishes itself

Isabel, if you go away
your god will get angry
Don't let this love to die this way

I will cry, you will cry
suffering in seclusion
come back to me and i will make you happy
Isabel

Searching, listening
to the great passion of love
trying to escape
from the future
running away from the past
you and I, always in love

(chorus)

Today I have nothing
if I don't have you
My heart extinguishes itself

Isabel~
I will always love you

Isabel,
where will you go without me?
I could not live without you

(chorus)

tis the season?

"so how's your love life?"

that was like the third (or was it the fourth?) time i had this question directed at me over a period of just 5 days..

what's with the "love life"? is it the "mating season" as maria puts it? haha... everybody seems to be obsessed with that question.

well, my answer: plain as a sheet of paper, still as a glass of water. that's how my love life is...

but i'm not worried, neither am i in a hurry to find someone... good things are always worth waiting for ;)

Settling in

Third night in hall

still kind of not used to being in a double room after all those years of private space... though i'm adapting much better than i expected.

my roomie's habits are really quite different from mine...

i miss my bathroom.... at least at home i won't keep forgetting things and keep having to shuttle back and forth... even if i forget something the toilet's just next to my room... now i am 6 doors down from the toilet...

i miss my single room back in 56.... at least the toilet's within 20 steps from my door... PLUS i have my own space... sobz....

if only someone on this level moves out of her single room.... hahaha :P

My mum

My mum can never fail to amuse me.

i got an email from sao yesterday that my hall application was successful, and that i can move in starting from this weekend. being so sick and tired of shuttling between school n home, this was extremely good news so i wasted no time in rushing to the kitchen to tell my mum how she has been saved from my constant complainings and the occasional lifts i need to get to school on time.

and this was the conversation we had: (ok not word for word, but roughly the idea. n the conversation was of course in chinese, you'll see why later)

kb: i think i shall borrow my friend's cleaning stuff to clean my room so i don't have to bring mine when i draw my keys
mum: you mean you still had friends in hall? i thought your gang graduated.
kb: yes i do, i have a friend who's in nie, and before he got his room he was crashing in our junior's room. our junior's overseas for exchange. so now that he got his room, there's a spare room and another of our friend is crashing there now.
mum: then how come you didn't crash in that room as well? you could split the rent that way.
kb: that's a single room, and my friend is A GUY
mum: doesn't matter, you can get a spare mattress.
kb: what?! you're telling your daughter to share a room with a guy?! no way! my juniors in hall can still recognise me can?? i'll never do something that can risk my reputation ok?
mum: you mean you have a reputation to upkeep? i thought it's down in the pits already..
kb: -_-
kb: hmm... that means i won't be using the locker in school anymore...
mum: y not? you can continue using it.
kb: but why do i need a locker when i have a ROOM?
mum: then isn't that a waste of money.
kb: kind of
mum: rent it out to another person then.
kb: -_-

see what i mean?

More movies to watch!

recently there seems to be a never-ending list of movies that i want to watch... cleared most of the movies off my previous list but new ones are coming up again! so many movies, so little time. not forgetting: so little money... lol

updated list of movies:

1. L. Change the world
2. Ah Long Pte Ltd
3. CJ7 (maybe? maybe not)
4. The Leap Years
5. August Rush
6. The Other Bolyen Girl (coming out in may i think)

looking for movie khakis, ones that don't forget all about me and watch without me anyway. any takers?

oh just a side note, i joined the gv movie club! tuesday tickets are only $6.50. those who can watch with me on weekdays before 6 better still, student tickets are only $6 at both gv and cathay.

Insulted

etiquette: a set of behavioural standards socially accepted
manners: the act of adhering to social etiquette; being polite to others

i felt totally insulted when two of my friends chose to watch a movie off a laptop while we were out having lunch.

so now i'm not just less interesting than a laptop, i'm also not as good a lunch companion, so much so that they cannot be bothered to talk to me and make my presence felt.

if i was scolded by another friend for being rude when i used my handphone to sms over dinner, i really don't know what this should be labelled as.

totally rude and disrespectful.

worst still is that they continued doing so as if nothing was wrong even when i made more than one request for the laptop to be put away. one of them even had the cheek to tell me "at home also liddat what."

excuse me, look around, were you at home? if watching a movie off your laptop while dining out is fine, then next time we can all wear pajyamas to the supreme courts. and why didn't you wear your pajyamas out then?

if i was supposed to be having lunch with a laptop screen, then i might as well have stayed at home to eat $2 chicken rice, rather than spend $20+ n get treated like a wall. at least that way i get my choice of the movie, not forgetting all the time n money i could have saved by not having to travel out in the first place.

i just feel there is a time and place for everything. if we all wanted to watch a movie, we could have arranged to meet at someone's house to watch the movie. at the very least, i'd have been informed beforehand that we'll be eating with a screen.

p.s. i'm not posting this so as to disgrace anyone, at least i haven't named names. you guys should go think about this and stop insulting people in their faces.