why is it sooo hard......

.... to find a quiet spot with aircon to study on a school holiday?

all the national libraries are flooded!

i think this is my retribution for being lazy and not wanting to go back to school. growl.

WHAT?!

i am soooooooooooo dead.

i just found out i have a test on saturday.

i only have effectively one night to read FIVE chapters.

GREAT. well done. skip class, miss announcement. this is what happens.

now the dilemma is: should i skip jap class to go home earlier to study?? hmmm :S

irony of the day. sometimes two wrongs just might make one right. prob is, should i take the risk?

爱与成长的定义

每个人对爱的定义都不一样，你的又如何? 我认为爱一个人不是占有对方所有的时间，更不是一味的要求对方一定要顺着自己的意思讨好自己。爱也不是把自己的意愿强加在对方身上，把对方所发出的所有讯号改换成自己想听、想看的。

爱一个人是希望他幸福、快乐。既然如此，如果造成他的负担，完全不顾他的感受，那还算爱吗？一味的复出，想做什么就做什么，完全没有考虑是否造成对方的负担，那你爱的不是他，而是你自己。你考虑过他的感受吗？你看到他对你退避三舍了吗？难道说你喜欢他，他就必须无条件的回报你所给的一切吗？你有权利喜欢，但切记，他也有权利拒绝。

对我来说，真正爱一个人，有时必须燃烧自己来保护他、照亮他的生命；不会是造成他的伤害、使他痛苦、甚至精神上折磨他。爱一个人是懂得为他着想，站在他的立场看事情。爱他就不要强迫他接受你所谓的心意。

一个人成熟与否，并不取决于年龄的数字，而是能不能够设身处地地为他人着想。不想被当成小孩子，就应该学会这一点，学会承担责任，而不是一味的埋怨、发脾气。自己的人生要自己负责，自己的将来也要为自己打算。你的人生不可能有人帮你走完，自己的路应该自己去找寻、自己去开创。

Two words.....

FED UP!

food cravings!

kb is craving for good food.... haha :P

1. CHILLI CRAB!
2. stingray
3. clams (la-la)
4. sambal sotong
5. ice-cream crepe from icecube at serangoon gardens (tues got discount.. anyone wanna go??) :P
6. botak jones
7. warm chocolate cake (the kind that has melted chocolate in the middle!)
8. bbq chicken wings
9. huge grilled prawns
10. sambal kangkong
11. secret recipe cheesecakes
12. cafe cartel ribs
13. fresh oysters! (i read from fp fins at ms sells oysters at $1 each on mondays!)

hungry..... hahaha :P

current fav songs

歌曲：猪先生
歌手：许志安




虽则天真的蠢猪
我未博得欢呼赞誉
然而有你爱上我的短处
快乐也许不必富庶
繁盛世界惯了以冷眼
去看我滑稽的际遇
能令你去发笑也有用处
我用傻事去捐输

多麽蠢的蠢猪
个个也来揶揄
高攀不起公主
并没段段艳遇
悠然面对这悲剧遭遇
齐集给了你当笑话书
多麽蠢的蠢猪
爱上那条人鱼
即使争都争输
仍然从未怪罪於天主
自信恋爱运很特殊
明日你前来叫我蠢猪
讲爱情暗语

即使悲观的乌龟
我亦看出它的美丽
仍然有你爱我
我都矜贵
快乐要先抛开智慧
谁又会似只蚁去献世
各有各独一的瑰丽
同样你爱锡我
哪有代替
证实人没有高低

开心多麽简单
要爱有何疑难
不必苦苦支撑
但愿是是但但
谁人自怨说生活艰难
成就只怕要勉强高攀

开心多麽简单
那怕爱人平凡
a餐b餐c餐
原来无论吃甚麽早餐
共你的每日都灿烂
而幸福秘诀太过简单
於好处着眼

personally i prefer the girl version by myollie wu, but sad to say, i can't find it... (for keeps) =( but nevermind, here's the online version to hear.



another song that i really love:

歌曲：丑得漂亮
歌手：胡杏儿/许志安



(杏)优美才容易获取所爱
总要和各界眼光比赛
长相你叫我怎么改
自尊心也被人笑声掩盖

(安)只怪凡人用眼睛恋爱
身世才沦为被爱的障碍
观众那界线改不改
亦好好对待叫人人意外

(杏)常人完美的标准
(安)怎去量度幸福的轻重
(杏)一千吨(安)这样重(杏)张开手
(安)能用力地抱拥

(杏)天生不算做漂亮
都多得你愿见谅
当丑小鸭被撇下
流亡然后又被领养
人从来天生天养
然而难得你对我紧张
(安)不必选美觅对象
丑样都这样漂亮
不必当世俗偶像
这世界谁亦有被爱的福相
(合)蒙起这双眼冥想
(杏)谁会让你恋上(安)忘记言论重量

(杏)总要被旁人目光批斗
得我凭快镜遇上佳偶
所爱我怕我讲出口
会给婉拒换来我心伤透

(安)关爱仍然是你所尊有
总有情人明白你小宇宙
给我抱抱你一双手
另一种美貌我全部接受

(杏)天生不会做偶像
都多得你愿见谅
仿佛整个闹市内
完全无人剩下我俩
评头和品足咀脸
原来无需要太过紧张
(安)请不必背负重任
丑样都这样漂亮
心底可拼命发亮
这世界其实有万百种色相
(合)旁观者怎会了解
(杏)何以共我恋上(安)谁会是最理想

it's not in my nature to be melodramatic.... and it's been a long time since i posted 3 posts in a day.....

but this time, kb is really not alright. kb is not alright at all...

i dunnoe what's wrong with me either. i just feel so........ down.

i've never felt so horrid, so alone, so upset in a long while.

i want to bounce back to become the happy girl i've always been. but it seems, i've been sinking deeper and deeper in the past 3 days.

i want to run.... run as far as i can.... but i know i can't run.

i can't focus, i can't fit in, i can't convince my dad, i can't help feeling all alone, i can't help hating myself for landing myself in such a state, i can't even make myself stop complaining and pick myself up.

i know i can if i make myself, but i dunnoe y the words "i can't" keeps floating about in my mind.... i don't even know what i want or what i need to make myself feel better. i don't know... i feel so lost...

ps. i know all of you are going to be worried about me after reading this. i'm sorry for making you guys worried. but i can't help it, i just need to rant. gimme a few days to readjust. i think i'd be fine after that. i know all of you care, i love you all for being there. but this time, i don't even know how anyone can help me. thank you all for caring. HUGS!

flashbacks......

(quoted from dictionary.com)
"flashback
noun
1.
a transition (in literary or theatrical works or films) to an earlier event or scene that interrupts the normal chronological development of the story [ant: flash-forward]
2.
an unexpected but vivid recurrence of a past experience (especially a recurrence of the effects of an hallucinogenic drug taken much earlier) "

it's amazing how the human brain works... somethings we try so hard to remember, but they just slip our mind like water through a sieve, other things, we don't take special effort to remember, or sometimes, even extra effort to forget, but they seem to haunt us like restless ghosts.

isn't it amazing how certain flashbacks can come back to find us, even years after the event, with such intricate details. it shocks me just how much i remember, even the little insignificant details. i guess allan is right, sometimes when we value those events, or even the people involved, we just subconciously pay more attention to those trivial details, which, otherwise, we wouldn't even bother paying attention to.

i need a break from all these. my dear memories, please stop bothering me. not now. maybe fifty years later. but now, all i need is peace....

updates from one unhappy girl

okayz i know... updates....

i've been planning for a happy post since long ago, needed to do some things before i could blog that. but never got round to doing those things.

so this post is going to be a not so happy one.

i think i'm driving myself nuts.

i think i bit off more than i can chew, and i'm feeling the stress now. and to top it off, i did stupid things to add on to my stress level. ARGH. what is wrong with me?

so many things are not going right. so many things running through my mind each day. so many times i wan to run away.

wait, i'm supposed to be updating, got carried away with my rantings. zzz...

well school's started, second week now. got a horrid timetable, i've got to come back to school even on saturdays for lessons until 3.30pm... every day travel a total of 4 hours to get to school and back. i think i'm going to snap soon....

besides school, nothing much has been going on i guess... except running around meeting friends. something i've never managed to do while in hall. i dunnoe if that is good or bad... i seem to be spending even more than when i used to stay in hall. that, for one, is bad...

oh well.... i came up with a warplan while travelling to school this morning. hopefully it'll get me through this sem safely, the rest, i will leave it till much later to worry about.

i dun seem to be making much sense today, but who could if you were in my shoes? kb is turning into one very unhappy, very confused girl... sobz...