After so many years, it still hurts. I thought those wounds had healed. But it seems they never did. They were just covered, unseen, almost forgotten. But they are there, still bleeding, still hurting.

Those wounds hurt so much that I built a wall, and then, built another entirely different world beyond it. With my old, bleeding wounds still hidden behind that wall, unseen and almost forgotten. It's those wounds which I wanted to freed of that caused me to change so drastically.

I still find it hard to face them. It’s almost impossible to wan to talk to them, or even be around them. It hurts too much. These people who had, once, been so important to me. People whom I feel have wronged me, misunderstood me. People who had left me hurting.

I guess I ought to thank them. Those people who have hurt me so. They made me the person I am today. They made the better me. But this new me still lacks the courage and confidence in front of these people. They bring memories of these old wounds. They remind me of the wounds, which seem, will never heal……

new resolution

after doing my groceries this morning, i have a new resolution: if i ever become a housewife, i wan to be one with a car. haha. y? cos my arms almost broke on my way back to hall after grocery shopping.

try carrying 4 ntuc bags, a box of pastries from tung heng, ps2 to usb converter, sushi, a fruit tart from delifrance, yakiniku burger from mos, and a set meal from long john's then u'll see what i mean.

i had to rearrange all the stuff into 4 big bags n bring them back to hall. i was short of one chocolate doughnut off the initial shopping list. really couldn't walk around anymore with so much stuff so i decided not to check back at prima deli to see if they were out on the shelves.

simple groceries for 3 pple n i'm half dead. can u imagine groceries for a whole household? GAWD...

not complaining though.... just amazed at how much stuff i managed to carry back... hahaha = P

dinner at delifrance and supper at boon lay market

dinner:
went with dione to delifrance at jp for dinner on the friday two weeks back. conclusion? the outlet sucks. haha. we got to jp a little late n the place was so full of pple. we walked around n decided on deilfrance since it was the only place with available seats.

sigh. the second visit in a row that makes me really not wan to go back there for a meal. the last time i went there with rongshan, the service wasn't too bad. the only fault we found then was the cream pasta sauce which, oddly enough, reminded us of diluted campbell soup.

when we first got there, we were informed that there weren't anymore seats inside the cafe so we had to sit at a table outside, along the walkway. fair enough, but after we were seated n after we finished looking through the menu, it seemed no one wanted to come n take our orders. great.

we finally got someone to take our orders. but the guy ( with the initials LKW) had horrible attitude. it wasn't like he was rude or anything, but it appeared as though he couldn't care less what we were ordering or even that we were sitting in the cafe he was serving in. hello? we're like paying ur wage in a way for goodness sake. anyway, dione asked for a sandwich n when asked what kinds of bread they had, he just replied: "oh, we have all kinds of bread" but he returned a couple of minutes later to tell us that they didn't have what she wanted. well done.

actually, i didn't hear his reply when dione asked him. but when dione told me what he said, i was very tempted to ask him whether they had the traditional kopitiam kind of bread. haha. ok out of point, back to the story.

anyway, we had to wait damned long for the food n when it arrived, they served a bowl of soup n sandwich with only one spoon. where's the fork n knife? n then, my iced coffee never came until dione finished all her food n we had to ask for it. rongshan said they probably assumed that we wanted the coffee served after the meal. err... i would understand if they asked when taking the order, or if the coffee was hot. but that was like, iced coffee?

when coffee finally came, nevermind that there was no milk, there was actually no straw or even a stirrer. well done.

sighz. horrible horrible...

supper:
after dinner dione left to head home. i did some quick shopping n got back to hall at 9.30. at 11, i left hall with trxie, rongshan n shumei to go boon lay market for supper. haha. so silly.

now dun get me wrong, i hafn't been gorging myself silly with food. although i went to delifrance with dione for dinner, my dinner consisted only of the super late glass of coffee and half a cup of potato wedges.

we had nasi lemak at boon lay market. yum yum! it's been so long since i tasted the nasi lemak from there. really missed it. n took lots of photos. the girls commented that we looked like some silly tourists having nasi lemak for the first time. haha. = P

then we went 7-11 to see what there was to get n we found............. a photostation! hahahaha. yeap. we spent an hour printing out all the photos we had in all our cameras and handphones. we did a whole lot of other silly things in 7-11 before we came back to hall in a cab. haha. hafn't had so much fun in a long while n i'm really looking forward to more of such outings. heehee = D