was surfing, then i got really bored so i checked my horoscope. got this off my horoscope page:

You can approach this situation like a bolt of lightning or like a swiftly running river. So what's it going to be? A bolt of lightning shatters and burns whatever it strikes, while a river gently and persistently shapes the landscape by accepting the terrain with which it works. You may not be used to working in the running-river mode, but right now would be a good moment to start learning. You'd be surprised at how much will change for the better once you do.

maybe i'm too harsh. dashing through everything like a bolt of lightning n destroying every little bit of friendship left. hurting pple n maybe even myself in the process. but you can't blame me. i've had enough. n hence my msn nick: 太多失望累积成绝望，在绝望以后除了放弃，还有其他选择吗？

it takes two hands to clap. same goes for friends. i noe i'm not perfect n nobody is perfect. but i've really run out of energy. i'm really tired of all the extra effort i have to take to keep this friendship. true, it all requires effort, but the effort has to come from both ends. when it all comes to naught time n time again, i really have no energy to start afresh. if 2 years of friendship n more than once of working together, and i dun get the basic trust a "friend" should have in me, i really dun see the point in salvaging anything.

i'm tired. just leave me be. i noe all your kind intentions and i appreciate it. but leave me be for just this once.

i've been having "funny ideas" recently. haha.

suddenly had the idea of becoming a teacher after i graduate. haha. pretty crazy an idea. i remember mr lau asking us once while we were preparing for a's whether any of us wanted to be teachers and mrs tan asked again this year when we went back to ny to visit them. both times i gave a very firm no. haha. but now, i dun noe what changed my mind. i remember i used to like to play teacher when i was little. maybe teaching might not be such a bad idea afterall. i guess pple change as they grow older. i look at a lot of things differently now as i would 2 years back. but whatever it is, i need to pass my current modules first. haha. kiv first ba.

thinking of picking up photography as a new hobby. haha. maybe i'll just start with taking pictures with my dad's digicam for now, then slowly save up to buy a good slr camera. haha. dunnoe how many donkey years i need to take to save the money. sobz. but one thing for sure, this is one hobby that will take me a lot of time n money. dunnoe whether i'll be really up to it. sighz.... kiv too ba.

i'm back to whine......

ok great... i threw away my wallet together with my mos burger plastic bag last night. grr. n i didn't realise until late this afternoon. couldn't even find it at the rubbish collection point. sigh.... so sad now... sobz. :'(

maybe miao is right... i should get some pomelo leaves to rid myself of all the bad luck.....

ok i found my ez-link card. so i didn't lose it on the shuttle bus. it was in my drawer while i searched high n low for it. i looked everywhere but my drawers. so silly.

the thing is, i remembered very clearly that i brought it to school. i stuffed it into the back pocket of my jeans as i always do. n i normally only put things onto my table when i get back to my room. so i dun noe when n why i put it into my drawer. that was y i didn't search my drawers.

zhehoung says it's because the ah mah is old n forgetful now. haha. maybe... sobz...

grrr..... can't believe how bad my evening was. everything was fine until the evening. sigh.

first i lost my ez-link card, on the shuttle bus somemore. n i didn't even realise it until much later when i was leaving hall to go jp. then someone had to spoil my mood by making ungrounded accusations BEHIND MY BACK somemore. coward. dare to say it behind my back but dun dare to face me. then when i reached jp, wanted to buy something but the auntie ignored me. idiot. so i walked off. angwee. then my coffee milkshake had to spill on the bus. argh! ok, someone was nice enough to give me a plastic bag to throw the overturned milkshake in. but the plastic bag was leaking! sigh.

guess i'm really not fated to drink mos burger's coffee milkshake. that's the second day in a row i bought my coffee milkshake but failed to get to drink it. sobz. really gian lehz. but tmr can't go n buy. sobz. can someone please buy it for me? haha. haiya, anyway, i think if i try buying it again i also won't get to drink. sobz. haha. i promise i'll do anything for the person who buys it for me. ANYTHING! any kind souls around?? *blink blink*

okie.. i hafn't blogged in a month. wow. guess i've simply been too busy n nuah to update all of u. haha. well, a lot has happened n i have no idea where to start my long stories. haha.

okie one, i lost my phone(9/7). haha. eric booked us a room at laguna to stay over after his birthday dinner. it was really nice! the room was BIG n dinner was nice too. after dinner was ktv session. the next morning we had a wonderful breakfast at the club cafe n after that, tennis! so nice. but unfortunately, i had to lose my phone on the way to laguna. haiz. so sad.

then we celebrated jinx's birthday in advance (13/7) though his birthday was on the 21st. since huiyi was leaving for hongkong, i was leaving the following week, and jinx was on leave the whole of the week to study for his exams. had a lot of nice food n the cake was really nice! thanx to jeff for buying it.

then was foc. let's just say i'm glad it's finally over. no more rushing out constumes in the middle of the night, no more rushing from place to place. haha. phew. at least we got through it.

first week of school was pretty boring. lectures were boring anyway. haha. wed was flag day, no lessons. so as usual we went ktv as an og outing. but before that i managed to fit in time to visit my colleagues at cgm. so nice to see them. haha. then friday we went on night tour. this year they organised ice-skating! so cool. had a lot of fun, though i would have enjoyed it more if i didn't fall down so much n get so many horrible scratches. eeeeee. so ugly. haha.

sat night met my cgm colleagues again for ma la huo guo. very nice! $15 each. not bad a price for steamboat buffet. food was not bad. but the best thing was sitting around and enjoying dinner with the whole group after so long. fiona treated us to dinner. so nice of her. after dinner miao n i went ktv. yupz, just the two of us. so silly. haha. n it cost a bomb too on a sat night. $28 each. sobz.

well i guess that's about all for now. long post ehz. heehee. hope i hafn't bored u guys to sleep :P looking forward to ktv this sunday, going to meet my jc friends. so exciting!