okie... second blog of the day... in only a matter of hours actually. hahaha =P but i felt i must really blog about dinner. i'm really glad to have joined dione n jeff for dinner. cos we had CRYSTAL JADE!!! hahaha. i'm really full to the brim now. hahaha. a lot of good food lehz... so contented now... heehee =P

i'm really amazed at how nice jeff was, he almost treated us to dinner. but i figured we shouldn't let him treat us lar. i mean, he paid for prata the last time n he always had to chauffer us. hahaha... n he's a really nice "daddy" to dione. food delivery ever so often, n he buys food for her he will buy for her friends too. i got a box of tau huay just last night. we figured he will be a "best dad" in future... hahaha...

oh crap... i really should get started with mugging... ciaoz.. jiayou everyone!

okie.. i get the idea... hahaha. jiahong complains that whine too much in my blogs n i bore the readers. oops... heehee. sorry guys... (n gals of cos) maybe it's cos i'm a boring person? :P i shall try my very best to cut down on that n make my blog more interesting k? = D but somehow, i can't blog about every single small but happy thing that happens eh? i'll be so busy then... haha. isn't that going to be worse? n since i lead such a boring n uninteresting life, it's the whinings that are left to be blogged lor... isn't it? hmm.. i sound like i'm whining again.... haha. oops.. sorry = P i dun noe. ideas anyone?

i feel tired... tired n disappointed. disappointed in things, in pple. so much so that i really wan to run away from it all. after all the shock, anger, bitterness left me, all that is left is disappointment. really, if my dad hadn't scrapped his pick-up truck, i would have requested to take driving lessons n drive to school instead of stay in hall. though dione might come after me for leaving her alone in hall... haha. sigh... i really dun noe what to do now. no matter what i do now is wrong. can the gods or the stars pls teach me what to do????

i really went through an emotional roller-coaster ride today. from the hyper n good moodthat lasted all the way until almost around 6, to utter hell at 10 pm. i never knew that a person's feelings n emotions could go through such drastic changes in just a matter of hours. in the end, every good thing that happened this week seemed to have happened just to highlight every bad thing that happened tonight...

if u ask me y i was in a good mood in the earlier part of the day, i wouldn't be able to answer to that.... it could have been due to a lot of things: cos i happened to have satisfied my craving for a whole list of food over the weekend? cos of the free movie tickets i'm supposed to be getting? cos of the possibility of finally getting to stay in the same blk as all the close friends i have left in hall? no more shuttling to 55 to pass things, visit, n what have u? it could also have been because i was simply out of my mind due to the extreme lack of sleep this couple of days...

then i got pushed into hell...

first of all was of course yang ying n yanru's sudden entry into the picture of the 54 rooms. okie maybe i shouldn't blame them, afterall, it's every girl for herself, especially since it'll be their final year this coming acad year, but shouldn't they at least inform us so that we noe what is coming? n not right smack in the face... bb u're out of 54.... i mean, come on, 3 of the 4 other girls that wan to stay in 54 are actually residents that spent a year in the blk, shouldn't u have come n asked about the situation or just come to show ur interest before u actually did come n turn us out? at least if they came n told me that they really wanted the rooms, i would have been able to make my own back up plans n maybe gotten other rooms? i mean, what good does it do me to make counter plans against them n make everyone miserable? end up we were just stranded with the 4 of us separated n in trying to set that one wrong right, i seemed to have made matters worse in some places, n i seem to have been involved in making matters worse in others...

cos we were sent out of 54, our appearance at the 56 single room meeting seemed to have made a lot of pple unhappy. but like dione says, it just isn't fair... y is it that we always had to be the ones making compromises? i mean, come on, look at the kind of combis of pple wanting rooms in 56, n the structure of the rooms... it was what? 5, 3, 3, 2, 1? it didn't make any sense to me at all that we should be the ones moving down, so what if we did? u have to make another group break up to fit into the other 2 rooms so that the other pple could fit in? it didn't make any sense at all... end up, there was so much unhappiness n it clearly appeared to be our fault for not giving in for once the entire night. it really wasn't fair. we were given the death sentence right there n then without a trial. look at how certain pple reacted to me after the single room meetings.

then huiyi became unhappy n said i chose dione over her.

huiyi, i'm sorry if i really made u feel that way but i really haven't chosen her over u. u're both my friends n are as important to me as each other. i'm not going to just abandon u. trust me, i really started out with the intention to try to put things rite. it's just that, i got blown off course, n i was sooo blown off course that i got confused myself. until i couldn't even explain clearly to make u see what i was doing. it could have been the beer, it could have been the lack of sleep, or even the utter shock that i had been turned out of a place i called "home" for a year. if u'd only give me a couple of days to try to put things rite, i might be able to prove to u quite plainly that i really haven't deserted. if u're reading this at all, i'm begging u for once to believe me n trust what i'm doing. just for this once.

n yes... i shocked even myself when i couldn't take it n broke down n cried a few times tonight... i guess the pple around me each time i broke down were shocked too... i'm guessing it's really cos i get extremely irritable when i dun get enough sleep haha... = P

i'm just hoping that everything will turn out alright in the end... though at the moment i dun see how...

ok... after much observation over two exam periods, i've finally come to a conclusion. all my weird craving for food is due to the exams. hahaha.... = P yupz... guess what i had for dinner today? 10 sticks of satay, one ketuput (if that's how u spell it), and 2 bbq chicken wings.... gosh... dun noe what made me eat like that. haha... n just last night i was actually craving for pizza though i just had it with dione and zhehoung less than 2 weeks ago. yupz... so pple, u can start expecting all those weird msn nicks about food again!

okie... now i noe y pple call me a tom boy... haha...

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

okie.... made a quiz after i read ronald's blog n did his... heehee... can try out :P

quiz

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=050317145614-215209

scoreboard

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/scoreboard.php?quizname=050317145614-215209

i had the best supper n most entertaining night in a very long time. for those who dun already noe, here's what we had for supper: a slice of chocolate of a thousand leaves and chicago cheesecake from coffee bean, a pack of potato chips, a tub of vanilla ice-cream, and a whole bottle of champagne. shared among the 4 of us, angie, juening, kevin chua, n i :D nice rite? hahaha...

but the fun only started after all the food n after finishing the champagne... kevin decided that he hasn't had enough, so i went to get coke from the vending machine, n we attacked the bottle of vodka that has been lying in my room since dnd... then after that... the 2 drunks, (not me hor... juening n kevin) started their almost an hour long of "fights"... pillow fight, nonono, bolster fight.... plush fight, even the blanket, the feather duster, n my tennis racquet cover became involved in their fights... n my poor snoopy not only had to endure being thrown around, it had to endure a shower with coke n vodka... haha...

oh yar... forgot to mention my door that they were swinging to n fro, n my chair that they pushed from one end of the room to the other.... guess what? shortly after they left, one of the screws from one side of the handles to my chair fell out... hahaha...

that's just how crazy they were... making all the commotion 2++ am... while i watched in ammusement... first from inside the room, to outside the room through the door, then to the laundry yard through the window... i wonder whether that was y there were still lights coming from barry's window... haha...i wonder how many pple they woke up...

but still... i hafn't had so much fun ever since i left the double room back in 53... thanx guys... we should do this more... haha... though poor kevin will have to keep moving from hall 8... haha...

豁然开朗。。。

原来“冷静”真的有助于人的思考。很奇怪的，总是能在冲澡间里想通一些困扰了很久的事情。才不久前为了朋友一句话，感到委屈、伤心。还为了那些莫须有的职责独自落泪。但冷静一想，却似乎顿时明白了些什么。或许佛家所说的“顿悟”就是如此。

突然明白，原来人与人之间最宝贵的莫过于“付出”。我想世间上所有的感情，无论亲情、友情、或爱情，都是一样的。人与人之间就是应该问自己能为对方付出多少，而不是对方能为自己付出多少。只要能够这么想，就算付出后，没有任何的回报，也无所谓。即使对方把自己当作利用的工具，也能坦然面对。也许所有的伤、痛、笑、泪，为得只是四个字：无愧于心。

失望。。。

世间真的没有人性本善了吗？人类究竟是对别人无法信任，还是对自己没有信心？为何待人以诚，却被当成别有用心？

明知会被伤害，却仍然义无反顾。到头来换来的是别人的猜疑。实在不服气，为何能为朋友两肋插刀，却被视为博取他人好感？我在你们眼中像是这么会耍心机的人吗？是我做人太失败了吗？

是我太傻？或许吧。除此之外真地想不出其他解释。若非正如他们口中的笨，何以会一而再、再而三地重蹈覆辙？即使伤痕累累，却仍硬着头皮一直犯同样的错误。可是要筑起一道墙，对我来说却难如登天。无法对别人猜疑。如果每做一件事都要猜透对方的心理，不是太累了吗？或许我还无法适应如何在现今的社会生存吧。但如果要我改变成一个连自己都讨厌的人，那我情愿一辈子都不要融入这样的一个世界。

remember i said my parents spoilt me? i always complain to my mum that she's spoilt my kid brother rotten.. he's atrocious man. but here's the irony, i had a part in spoiling him too. haha. i just bought his fav tit-bits again. sighz.

某日在电视上见剧中主人翁提到：“舍得、舍得、有舍才有得”。 此话已听（看）了不下十次，但始终仍有一事未解。若非先得，又何来之物可舍？haha... 百思不得其解，或许与先有鸡还是有蛋的问题相似吧。正谓天下本无事，庸人自扰之。。。

ok... guess i was too bored.. hahaha.. stupid idea ehz? :P

ever felt disappointed in "friends"? felt used? well i did... recently.... though i promised myself years ago that i will never let myself feel that way again. but i let myself get into this kind of situation again... not once, but over n over again. damned... i must be really stupid or insane.

ok, maybe they didn't mean it.. i mean they didn't mean to use me or make me feel used. i guess that's y i'm letting it happen over n over again. u see, some friends, they never come looking for u or even bother talking to u until they need something from u. how do i know that? well... first few sentences seem harmless, then the agenda is revealed, then it's like being hit on the head. wham! so that's y he/she started talking to me. then there's the other group, when u're needed, all the nice sweet things start falling out of their mouths, then when u need them, smack! u get snubbed rite in the face. right there n then.

sigh... maybe i should start choosing my friends more carefully eh?