alright... hafn't been posting for a long long time. been 10 days since my last post. a bit busy past few days lar.

okie. an update on what happened these few days. basically, nothing special lar, haha... been carolling. day time was also busy with various stuff. only thing special was i fell sick on christmas eve... super sickening.. then i took panadol the whole of sat n i thought i was alright but apparently i was wrong. it got worse on sat night when i got home n showered. i was shivering like mad n i thought i was dying... haha. :P but anyway, i also had diarrhoea since fri. so on sunday morning my mum insisted i went to see a doctor even though my fever was gone. doctor said i had a viral fever, fever can be gone but the diarrhoea might continue. @^&$%^*@%&^*@$%$%*&%$ haha... so here i am, still having diarrhoea on monday morning. think the medicine is a bit useless. or maybe it's because i didn't follow instructions n went to eat oily n spicy stuff. heehee :P

hafn't been sleeping well lately... or rather, my sleep has been light most of the time. wonder y. but when that happens, i get lots n lots of weird dreams. ok, here's some parts of last night's dream that i can still remember. haha. first i dreamt i got married to this guy that i've never even met in real life. but he's quite cute though. haha. n it was quite romantic in the dream :P then later after some twists n turns i sort of landed in another story. in that one, i was a vampire.. haha. crap. then at some point i dreamt i was actually kuang tian you. double crap. haha. then later on, diff story, i was out with choir girls but some how zhehoung was there, then i was something like sabrina teenage witch, i can make things happen just but reciting some stupid stuff n snapping my fingers. haha. then i woke up. thanks to my diarrhoea. haha. crazy dreams eh? anyway. here i am end of my dreams start of my day. nothing else to blog about. haha. till next time!

朋友满天下，知心有几人？ okie... i shall be more friendly to those who can't read or dun understand chinese. else zhehoung will say i'm being racist again. translated to english, it means that one has numerous friends but few really close friends who understands him/her. really feeling a little like that now... n missing my pals in jc... my classmates: deepa and liuting, kelvin, shiqi, my old pals from first aid: mary and jianhui, library pple: zhenlin, peter, allan, limin, candice, aiden, yiya. guess it must be the being busy all the time, n maybe the quarells with friends in hall. sometimes i feel just so distant from everyone here. kind of miss the good times i had with my friends in jc. sighz.. hey if any of u guys see this, must come n find me k?? should meet up one day :P hope it will be soon :D

I'm sure all of us have read similar messages in the numerous forwarded emails.... "life is short, cherish every moment of ur life." "do/say what u have to n not live to regret not doing it" etc. we all noe the meaning, but exactly how many of us have really stopped n pondered over it? how many of us manage to live without regrets? indeed, life is short. before u noe it, u or someone close would have gotten to the end. just been to read liuting's blog, read about mr lim. wanted to blog about him when i first got the news too but didn't really noe where to start.

Mr john lim never really taught me while i was in ny. and in fact, i'm pretty positive he doesn't noe me by name as well. but that didn't stop him from being friendly. i remember we used to have our first aid meetings in the pe department because of miss low. so of cos, being a pe teacher, mr lim was a familiar face to all of us, n we of course, were familiar faces to him. my impression of mr lim was a very jovial, super friendly, very lively, very caring teacher. his passing is no doubt a great loss to the school. i remember other students used to think of miss judy low as "stern" or "fierce" but mr lim n mr singh never fails to make miss low laugh. of cos, pple like us who worked under miss low noes that she is not really unapproachable like the other students make her out to be. she is also a great teacher who can joke with us n laugh with us, just that she seldom does that with the rest. but still, as long as we have mr lim with us in the pe department, there's bound to be laughter to go around.

the deepest impression that mr lim left me, was actually his teaching desk. it used to be filled at least a quarter with his ultraman figurines. it struck me as amusing at that time that a grown man actually keeps a collection of toys. but of cos, now looking at the number of guys in hall with their wide ranges of toy collections, it doesn't seem such a big deal for a guy to have a toy collection anymore. nonetheless, us girls found it cute at that time lar.... ok... considering there was only mary n i in the first aid ex-co.

and of cos i heard more about mr lim from my good friend liuting. i used to hear endless stories about how mr lim always teases her, jokes with her, encourages her, be it when we were still in ny or when we went back to visit teachers after we graduated. i personally witnessed these on a few occasions. if u didn't noe them n if u saw them out of school, u would have thought they were buddies. i was envious actually of the bond they had between them. something i never had with my own teachers. maybe it was cos i was such a horrible student... haha :P but still, it really shows how much mr lim gives to his students. oh yeah, my guess is that mr lim would recognise me as the girl in first aid n liuting's friend since i hanged out with liuting so much during the later part of my second year in ny n after graduation. honestly, i was a bit worried about liut when i first heard the news from peter but i'm glad that liut's feeling better now.

i guess it takes someone like mr lim to remain in our memories forever however small the way he touches our lives. may he rest in peace in the other world.

春蚕到死丝方尽，蜡炬成灰泪始干。

ever wondered what it would be like if we could turn back time? ever imagined living someone else's lives? if i could see the outcomes on certain things earlier, maybe a lot of things would have been different. maybe if i was given a second choice, i might not be in ntu now... i might be somewhere else doing something else. i dun noe... i only noe that the fact is, we can't turn back time. if i had a choice, maybe i would have chosen to be born 10 years earlier for a number of reasons.

since i got the wrong timing for soccer n softball training is cancelled, i got the whole day to myself! yayy!! phew finally a break. wonder y the hell i got myself into this, commitments almost every single day, some days even multiple things at a go. more stuff coming up so i can foresee myself getting quite busy... might not even have time to go home n be with my family. guilty lehz.

anyway, since i got such a rare full day break, i spent some time visiting my friends' blogs according to my link list. wah.. really very long never go around visiting liao. so many new stuff on their blogs. esther and cailing got their christmas wish list up!! but i'm rather broke this hols lehz... sorry gals. heehee :P no time to find job n earn money :P anyway, if i were to have a wish list, hmm... i dun noe... a bf?? hahaha... nah, kidding.

then i got to mary's blog.. wah! ur neice so cute!!! haha. then i clicked on the links n that's it.. hooked on the various tests... haha... here's one.

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

What Planet Are You From?

hmm true or not??? dun noe... what ya guys think??

okie there was another one but something is wrong with the html, it's about what kind of blogger u are, i'm supposed to be a "social blogger". can find from the same website if u guys are interested.

okie the rest aren't that interesting. oh n thanx angie for ur compliments. haha... i ain't that good at chinese... at least not as good... i never took so long to write an article of this length.. took me e whole night last night. haha... rusty liao. :P

okie i finished writing some stuff... don't ask me what i'm writing... i went back n read it i also dun noe what i'm writing... sounds like crap to me.. haha... the whole mood feels damned gloomy though... anyway since i wrote them n dun noe what to do with them so might as well post :P hey sorry deeps, n sorry ah pek... next time i translate for u all lor... haha if i'm free..

无奈篇

“人生，就有那么多无可奈何的事啊”

偶然间在某处看到了这么一段话。的确，人生中的无奈何其多？生老病死，从人生的第一刻起，便已经注定无法逃脱。但人生中的“无奈”又岂仅于此？

（待续）

虚伪？

我相信人性本善，但似乎在成长过程中，却慢慢的走向假丑恶。第一步便是走向虚假。所谓“人际关系”，其实说穿了不就是变相的“虚伪”吗？只不过人替它冠上了漂亮的名字来减轻它所带来的罪恶感。虽然还未踏足社会，体验所谓的“办公室政治”，但“虚伪”二字，时时都在身边围绕，如今已见怪不怪，不足为奇。只是当事情牵涉到自己时，难免会为自己的虚伪而震惊。

某日在校园碰到了许久不见的同学，虽然不是深交，但毕竟是认识多年的朋友，于是就随便聊了几句，一路上也算有说有笑。但分手后不禁开始察觉自己的虚伪。其实上次见面时，因为一些误会无缘无故的挨了他一顿骂，至今心中仍有气，但是见面时依然能谈笑风生，使我不得不为自己的虚伪不寒而栗。

这件事到底证明了什么，是应验了女人的善变、爱记仇，还是证明了我的虚伪？连我自己也不清楚。唯一肯定的是，我并不喜欢这样的自己。这或许是我自小敢怒不敢言的性格所致，但是我更怕回到从前自卑、甚至有点自闭的自己。毕竟有人的地方就会有是非，要远离是非、远离“虚伪”必定得先离开“人”。“敢怒敢言”能真正做到的又有几人？或许是害怕得罪人，或许是害怕失去朋友。多少次以为身边一些较熟络的朋友已经是能无所不谈了，但一旦直接指出对方的不是，总是落得不欢而散的局面。或许这真的是人成长中必经的过程吧，必须在迷途中找到自己。现在的我耐心的等待着破茧而出的一天，希望到时能见到的是一个化作美丽蝴蝶的自己。

hello folks!! heeheez... long time hafn't been updating my blog... reason being that my laptop had been sent for repairs for more than 2 weeks... so now i got it back, i expect i should be writing stuff again ba. hmm.. nothing much of interest in the past 2 weeks except my uninteresting birthday which i spent in choir camp... just like last year. only interesting thing that happened that day was a nice dinner at billy bombers n a bit of fun at the arcade lar... besides that nothing lorz... then i lost my voice in the middle of choir camp n got it back again beginning of this week... or at least i think it's back.. haha. hmm noticed that i tend to lose my voice quite easily now n takes a damned long time to get it back.. wonder y. must go check up one day :P alright that's all for now ba. update ya guys again next time!

oh rite.. i'm in the mood to write something... but in chinese... haha... so maybe can expect something soon... but not that soon. haha :P